Review By: Yumi
There’s another lengthy swords and sandals epic from 2004 called 'Alexander' which opens with a scene where Sir Anthony Hopkins explains tedious plot details for approximately 20 minutes. That scene made me instantly hate the film 'Alexander' although Colin Farrell and Angelina Jolie as his Mom provided plenty more reasons later in that film.
I have a theory about Anthony Hopkins, a known alcoholic who was at his most ruddy during the amazingly crap 'Zorro' (1998)*. My theory is that Anthony Hopkins is shit. His drinking/non drinking status at present is unknown to me, but while I don't think he was a better actor when he was heaps pissed in the nineties, but he was definitely less uninteresting.
Getting back to 'Thor' - our friend Sir Anthony Hopkins opens the film with an interminable scene in which he explains plot points to which we never return. It's hard for the film to recover from such a deluge of boring, but star Chris Hemsworth is hot and that goes quite a long way. Oh, ten points for a cameo from Jeremy Renner at the halfway mark. Hot also!
Bad news is that Chris Hemsworth spends less than one whole minute shirtless and that Sir Anthony Hopkins has at least four more films in pre or post-production. Just retire, buddy!
Natalie Portman is unreal in the part of Jane, resident scientist and little skerrick of credibility for the film 'Thor’. Thor's real, true love is for his hammer, which he ADORES, but he fancies Natalie a little bit too, and she delivers her lines without any sarcasm whatsoever.
Anyway, I did some pondering and got to thinking about what 'Thor' really is about. Part of it is a success story of this likeable Australian actor, Chris Hemsworth, and the simultaneous growth of his status as an actor and a leading man and the growth of his amazing muscles, and that's nice because we all like muscles and we all like success stories, especially Aussie ones, right? Except I have a question: Wouldn't a natural extrapolation of this story be a comparison of Hemsworth's success with another Aussie guy who made it big in Hollywood, Sam Worthington? Both muscly hunks, both in big budget, slightly stupid epics (that we like), and yet everyone seems to be running a mile from comparing one to the other. Why?
The true subtext of 'Thor' is that everyone in Hollywood hates Sam Worthington.
* (If you care to waste $3.50 and an hour of your life, take a look at 'Zorro' and you'll see Hannibal Lecter barely able to focus on his goblet. He sobered up for a while after that.)
STARS: 2 stars
SUMMARY: Natalie Portman is pretty good
WHO SHOULD SEE IT: 14 year old boys & James
RELEASE DATE: 21 April 2011
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