HARRY POTTER AND THE HIGHBROW EYEBROWS
Review by: Yumi
I watched every Harry Potter movie except the second-last one and the consistent reaction I had to all films was –
“Wow, Emma Watson has great eyebrows.”
Those eyebrows should get an Oscar, no shit.
Other Great Eyebrows in Movies:
Jennifer Connelly
Camilla Belle
Agnes Deyn
Natalie Portman
Rachel McAdams
I really love the Harry Potter movies, although I’ve never given any of them a single thought once they’ve finished, save to think about how to get Emma Watson’s eyebrows or wondering when it’s legal to have a sexy thought about Ron Weasley. They’re fun, but pretty forgettable.
There is something so pleasing about how they’ve assembled a lot of the giants of English acting and given them all a massive superannuation payout. I freakin love it. “Maggie Smith? Here’s your Harry Potter Golden Handshake for Years of Service as a Top Thesp.” Ka-ching! Maggie Smith was actually one of the best things about Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 2. James has talked about this before but 74 year-old Maggie Smith...older than my Mum’s car, older than my favourite cheese, older than any wine ever drank– Maggie Smith really has enough charisma to be sexy. She’s freakin impressive. She impresses me as much as Emma Watson’s eyebrows.
Hey, the other awesome thing about Emma Watson, besides being beautiful and, like, MEGA WEALTHY, is that she fronted ad campaigns for Burberry and even though she’s a quarter of the age of the women who can afford that stuff, she TOTALLY makes me lust after gaberdines. And makes me need a trenchcoat, baaaad.
So is Harry Potter worth the hype?
Yeah, it is. It’s pretty awesome. One thing that makes the Potter films special is they make magic magical. They’re not orgies of special effects like a Transformers movie where story and character get lost in the bleeps and bangs. The great actors (Alan Rickman! John Hurt! Emma Thompson (painfully underused in this one)! David Thewlis!) dominate the drama and seem to be in competition to make the tiniest roles an exercise in giant performance.
And weirdly, this film made me think about death and what happens after it – and listen up – among the nerds and wizards, it’s entirely possible that YOU, TOO may have an existential moment as you peer into the great void.
I love a good film that makes me think about death. Recently the Mark Romanek film Never Let Me Go did that and the message was: “We all die. Let’s cherish life – and each other – while we can.”
Phew!
Ralph Fiennes, as Harry Potter’s arch-nemesis Lord Voldemort is a snivelling picture of evil, although weirdly, in spite of his menace, many people in the cinema got the giggles whenever he appeared. He MAY have been a bit hungry, and he MAY have chewed up a bit of the scenery, but Fiennes’ career has been a very logical flow chart:
1993 | 1994 | 1998 | 2002 | 2008 | 2011 |
Schindler’s List | Quiz Show | The Avengers | Maid in Manhattan | The Hurt Locker | Harry Potter finale |
Ultimate Nazi | Aryan cheat | Pommy putz | J-Lo’s bitch | A guy who’s gonna get shot in the head after 5 minutes on screen, mainly because of his shit bandanna | Ultimate bad guy |
Sometimes you gotta accept that you’re good at something, and Ralph Fiennes is good at being a vagina-face.
STARS: 4 Stars!
SYNOPSIS: The grand climax!
WHO SHOULD SEE IT? Fans, nerds, anyone who owns a cape, but maybe not kids under 13.
RELEASE DATE: In cinemas today
