RED DOG

What Would Phil Collins Do?
Review by: Yumi

Okay so I saw the new Australian film Red Dog today.

Red Dog is notable for a couple of reasons:

It's directed by Kriv Stenders, a well-liked filmmaker who is regularly lionised at the annual IF Awards and whose accomplishments include Boxing Day and The Illustrated Family Doctor.

It is about a dog.  The dog is red. Ish.

The film reunites two of the stars of The Year My Voice Broke - Noah Taylor, whose amazing face looks well lived-in and thoroughly inhabited, and Loene Carmen, who's barely changed.  In The Year My Voice Broke they played teenagers who never got it on, which was just as well because in the film it was alluded to they were possibly half brother/sister.  In Red Dog they play a well-married couple, which is cute.  Incest isn't cute*, but they are cute and it made me happy to see both of them, two terrific actors who go way back, probably enjoying the hell out of each other.

THEN:

NOW:

It was filmed while Australian actor Rachel Taylor, one of the film's stars, was going through private-life dramas with troubled actor Matthew Newton and some of those dramas made the local news on more than one occasion. 

Poseidon actor Josh Lucas plays the token yank.  He is handsome but almost indistinguishable from Josh Duhamel**, with whom he once starred in the Katherine Heigl rom-com Life As We Know It.
                                                                                       

**

I don't know what else to say about this film except that last year I saw Summer Coda, a 2010 Australian film also starring Rachel Taylor and also set in the country, and that was even worse than Red Dog.  It was dark in the cinema today, so I couldn't read the newspaper so in the interest of time management, I had a little nap.  Time management!  I am a single mum with two daughters and two jobs and I could've left the screening but was contractually obliged to stay... but not contractually obliged to stay awake.

What would Phil Collins do? 

I love Phil Collins.  I particularly love him in this song with Philip Bailey from the album 'Chinese Wall'.

Phil Collins is a reasonable man, but like me, he's busy, he's hardworking.  If you're ever stuck, ask yourself, WHAT WOULD PHIL COLLINS DO?  Does Phil Collins waste time singing a duet with someone who can't sing?  Who doesn't have thorough assurance and swagger that his shit is awesome and he can hold his own and be brilliant and soulful and joyful and wondrous while standing next to Phil Collins?  No!  Would Phil Collins nap during a well-intentioned, but completely nonsensical, tone-deaf Aussie film?  Yes.  Yes he would.  He's an easy napper.  He'll take a nap but you won't feel it.

*incest is actually very cute in the film Close My Eyes (1991, dir Stephen Poliakoff) starring an undiscovered Clive Owen who totally badly wants to bone his sister, played by Saskia Reeves and the sexual tension is red-hot.  Sorry, but it is.

**Only one of these actors is dating Black Eyed Peas vocalist Fergie, who may or may not be female.

2 STARS

SYNOPSIS: A town is united through the example set by one loyal dog.  THERE IS NO GAY SEX IN THIS FILM.  UNLESS THEY SLIPPED THAT BIT IN WHILE I WAS SLEEPING.

WHO SHOULD SEE IT?  I actually thought my kids might totally dig this film even though I didn't - so maybe kids and insomniacs should see it.
RELEASE DATE: In cinemas Thursday 4 August

Additional Notes from Jade: Ok so the film sucks, but these great actors are also talented musicians (no not Rachel Taylor - although she did mime in that Glee-esk episode of Grey's Anatomy - OMG that was BAD). Loene Carmen is also a singer / songwriter who I once toured with to SXSW in Texas. She's one hot lady. Her gorgeous and also very talented daughter with actor Aden Young is Holiday from Bridezilla.  And Noah Taylor has just announced he and his band The Sloppy Boys (which also features Cec Condon from The Mess Hall) will be making their live debut at the 2011 Homebake festival. Nick Cave is a fan. At least we can rely on Australian music